clothes

Asking For Fashion Advice On Social Media

For years, black has been my signature color.

Black shirts. Black shirts. Black jackets. Black jewelry. Black swimsuits. Black everything. It’s slimming and versatile, and makes it really easy to blend into the background.

As I’ve been losing weight, I’ve been wearing a lot of bolder colors. And experimenting with wardrobe choices. While my mind always defaults to black when putting an outfit together, I’ve been trying to branch out and wear some other things.

Next week I’ll be in San Diego at Social Media Marketing World, and part of the conference involves an evening cruise. I’ve been looking for a cute dress for the event, and finally found one on my lunch yesterday. The dress doesn’t cover my undergarments, so in my mind it requires an undershirt. Of course, a black undershirt came to mind. But then I thought….I always wear black, I should try something different.

The black is black, white, and turquoise, so I tried on the dress with both a black and white undershirt. I kinda like how the black straps contrasted with the white undershirt, but the black looked better to me. I took a picture of both, and posted it on Instagram and Twitter to get some opinions.

I asked “Found a new dress for spring. Poll: black undershirt or white undershirt?” And the answers flooded in. Over 45 answers so far, and everyone said black. But it also turned into all sorts of fashion advice: no undershirt, wear a black cardigan, throw a bolero jacket, etc. But what surprised me was how many people got nasty with their comments about the white top. Honestly, I deleted a few of the comments on Instagram because I felt insulted…people made me feel like I had absolutely no fashion sense. I didn’t expect to feel so self-conscious or hurt.

I guess I should have phrased my question better, because I already knew I’d be going with black, but was curious if the white would work as an alternate option. I always keep a cardigan handy when I wear a short-sleeved dress, and had already packed my cute 3/4 sleeve sequined cardigan to wear for the trip. But after years of limited clothing choices in the largest sizes of the plus-size stores, I’ve been excited to be more daring and try some fashion risks. But after this experience, my self-conscious soul has decided “When in doubt, go with black.”

Moral of the story? Only ask for fashion advice on social media if you’re prepared for the snarky comments too.

Please, no more opinions.

My Size 30 Jeans

The last pair of pants I purchased before surgery were a pair of size 30, elastic waisted boot-cut jeans from Lane Bryant. The largest size that they carried in the store.

I was mortified to be at the point that I was wearing the largest size available in local stores. If I gained any more weight, I would have to press my luck with the “large and tall” store (that rarely had anything that big) or order things off the internet (and send them back because they wouldn’t fit).

Utah doesn’t have a lot of options for plus-sized clothing. There are many locations of Lane Bryant, a few CW Banks and Deb stores, and the last Fashion Bug store just went out of business. You can shop at Torrid if you want to look super trendy, but the quality of the clothing is awful. There are no Avenue, Cato, Catherine’s, Woman Within or Ashley Stewart stores. You can get sizes up to 24 at most department stores, but your options are horribly limited after that.

Now I have lost 125 pounds. And I can now put my old size 30 jeans on…and fit into one leg! And my daughter can jump in there with me!

It hardly seems real that these jeans used to be the ones that were such a tight fit, and only fit on me because they had an elastic waist. They weren’t the most stylish jeans in the world, but they were the ONLY pair I could find to fit me.

Last week on my surgiversary, I decided to buy some new jeans with my birthday money. I’ve been a fan of Lane Bryant’s T3 (Tummy Tightening Technology) jeans, and have purchased them in sizes 28, 26, 24, 22, and 18. My size 18 T3 jeans are getting a little baggy, so I thought I’d just buy some size 16s. But…for the first time in a year, the T3’s didn’t fit me right.

I browsed the clearance rack and found a pair of size 14 jeans on clearance for $22. They looked like they would fit, so I tried them on just for the fun of it. And whoa! They fit! I haven’t fit into a pair of size 14 jeans in nearly a decade.

And what is significant about size 14 jeans at Lane Bryant? They’re the smallest sized jeans they carry. That means I just purchased my last pair of jeans from Lane Bryant. I’ve been shopping there since I was 18. And now I have so many other options for clothes, I may never even step in the doors again. I like their bras, but now my band size is too small. I’m in a 38D-DD now, and they don’t have 36’s. I guess I can unsubscribe from their email list now.